What is an introject?

An introject is quite simply an absorbed idea or belief.

You can think of an introject like an audio file that exists in your subconscious, right on the threshold of your conscious awareness.

It’s when you’re considering moving toward something that matters to you, or when you’re in the process of breaking repeating cycles that they tend to appear.

For example, say you're trying out a new skill. A common introject could sound like, “I can't do this” or “I'm never going to get good at this” or “what’s the point?”

It could also sound like a parent or loved one, or even just someone you once knew saying, 'that's not going to work,’ or ‘what do you think you’re doing?'

Introjects have different tones and intentions and sources. Some are useful for keeping you safe, some once kept you safe but now slow down your progress. Some are good; like the voice of someone you respect telling you to 'just keep going'.

Some have happy connotations, and some are so familiar that we think that's what we sound like.

Looking at introjects is a discovery; like an archaeologist would explore unknown territory — you become aware of something, look around, explore a few different angles, and venture further if it's safe. You may need professional assistance and support for this kind of self-enquiry, or maybe not.

The thing to remember about introjects is often we think this is us, a part of us, our own voice, because we hear it in our own minds, or the memory is so close and personal to us it feels like us, but an introject is often projected toward us from outside of us.

What to do about introjects?

Interrupting the pattern

To interrupt the influence of introjects, it's about doing what you can to make it more conscious. Introjects are on the periphery of your awareness, so they're subconscious, just out of view. You can't see what you don't look at, so there needs to be an intention to look/focus in that direction.

Ask yourself:

When you're on the precipice of something new, or entering into a growth opportunity phase, what exactly do you hear? What are the exact words?

Out of curiosity just notice what presents. Create distance from introjects by getting to the facts.

What exactly is heard/said? Is anyone associated with this phrasing?

Create space around it so you can see the bits and pieces. No force required. Just like you're watching a show on the screen of your mind.

The Root Cause

Getting to the root cause can be useful and powerful, but it is not always the sole objective and not always needed to diffuse a pattern. Confirmation about origins can sometimes elude you, and that’s okay. 

Occasionally, you may get an insight or a glimpse like — 'oh, it started here', or 'ah, it's because of this', but not always. You may just recognise it as a soundbite on repeat for years until a connection is made.

These introjects can be that innocuous. It could be an innocent phrase you overheard incorrectly on a school bus once, and that's enough to leave an imprint.

But as you witness the facts (what are the exact words? what's the tone? who does it sound like?) more details will emerge from your subconscious, and you soon you realise that this phrasing is not actually you, or a defect in you, and it's not even part of your core makeup — rather, it is an energy which has been absorbed from outside of you.

What comes before/after

Notice the reactivity or behavioural tendencies associated when an introject presents.

What is the circumstance or scenario? Is there a theme occuring, or many different themes at once? Notice how you feel in your body — where are you tense or tight?

What was your socio-physical reaction following the appearance of this introject?

Did you withdraw/cancel plans/give up/go harder/feel sunken/pick a fight?

Did your mood change significantly? And what did that lead to? Did it effect other areas of your life?

These kinds of questions can help clue you in to the introjects origins.

Sometimes, it's not about trying to see, but rather allowing connections to be made known to you. (Note: relaxation and the theta brainwave state helps with this).

Creating separation

Until you realise that this introject actually doesn't belong to you, you can live your whole life orienting your choices based on false premises in your mind that weren't even yours to begin with.

Repetition and frameworks then get built upon these false foundational beliefs, creating whole structures of life which don’t feel aligned. Because that energy was never yours, the physical manifestations of what they motivate can often feel unfulfilling.

Your subconscious will show you. Approach your enquiries with a relaxed focus and a genuine interest of what exists there and breathe through any sensations which emerge. If it gets too much, redirect your attention to something else to end the enquiry.

It often helps to note your experiences on a piece of paper to expel it from within you. You may also benefit from taking a walk to help your body process the energy, bringing your attention back to the present moment — where you are now.  

Ongoing Maintenance

Think of introject enquiries like mental maintenance. You’re servicing your cognitive capacity.

If there's an annoying sound that occurs every time you're on the way somewhere good, wouldn't you want to make an enquiry as to whether you can do something about that?

It's certainly a new skill, but there's no right or wrong way to do it, and a lot of self-trust can be built along the way as a bi-product.

Work through introjects as they appear, as you remember, as you have capacity for it.

This is what it means to ‘do the work’.  It is a process, but it doesn't necessarily have to be long one.

The payoff is when you start to unravel the introject even just a little, when you create that separation between what you thought was you and what was projected onto you once, you find headspace. The energy lightens up because there isn't the weight and anchor of this phrasing introducing itself every time you want to get somewhere or work on what you really want.

This headspace feels like more opportunities for peace of mind throughout the day, clarity on decisions (especially the ones which are in your own best interest), and an increasing sense of emotional intelligence because you're practicing and honing the ability to discern what's theirs from what's yours.